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Beat heart, BEAT. by ~omigodimonfire:iconomigodimonfire:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open


What would happen
do you think
if the astronomer,
of his own volition,
chose to eat the stars?

Would it be as if a painter
had burned all the paints in the world?

Or if a lover
had killed all the loved ones?

Or if a tree,
fallen in seclusion,
had made no sound?

Would the world stop living?
Would breath not be taken in?
Would my heart refuse to beat?

If it happens, I will say but this:
Live world, live.
Breathe all, breathe.
Beat heart, BEAT.

This is no time to stop.
There is much to be done,
much to be repaired,
much to discover,
much to live.

You are not the only one suffering
from a loss of breath.
©2008-2009 ~omigodimonfire
:iconomigodimonfire:

Author's Comments

I guess what I'm trying to say is... down with selfishness (???). :shrug:

poem (C) me

Notes:
I give *Inked-Page permission to post this in their gallery.

I give *100ThemesChallenge permission to post this in their gallery, as #10- Breathe of Variation 2.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icongetyourgrip:
~GetYourGrip Oct 3, 2008, 1:34:15 PM
nicely done :clap:

--
Married to the pen,
and we're both having an affair
with the page.
:iconthetrueprophet:
~TheTrueProphet Oct 3, 2008, 2:58:01 PM
It's an excellent poem and a very good concept. Good use of metaphor as well.

--
I went mad, of course. But I got bored with that after a while, and went sane.
:iconomigodimonfire:
~omigodimonfire Oct 3, 2008, 3:20:34 PM
Thanks. :bow: :]

--
What's hell without a little fire? [insert flamethrower] :onfire:
... I'm pretty sure fire extinguishers can't heal second degree burns...
'Almost' only counts with grenades and horseshoes.
:iconomigodimonfire:
~omigodimonfire Oct 3, 2008, 3:20:57 PM
Thank you kindly. :]

--
What's hell without a little fire? [insert flamethrower] :onfire:
... I'm pretty sure fire extinguishers can't heal second degree burns...
'Almost' only counts with grenades and horseshoes.
:icongetyourgrip:
~GetYourGrip Oct 3, 2008, 8:29:54 PM
my pleasure~>

--
Married to the pen,
and we're both having an affair
with the page.
:iconomigodimonfire:
~omigodimonfire Oct 3, 2008, 8:40:41 PM
:)

--
What's hell without a little fire? [insert flamethrower] :onfire:
... I'm pretty sure fire extinguishers can't heal second degree burns...
'Almost' only counts with grenades and horseshoes.
:iconcairnthecrow:
=cairnthecrow Oct 9, 2008, 10:00:20 AM
Well done. I loved the opening--it snagged me from the thumb. The questions are beautifully phrased; the image of an astronomer eating the stars is an amazing one. My only critique would be that the poem somewhat degrades as it goes on; the originality of the metaphor falls away into something a bit more cliche (the world keeps turning.) Still, excellent job. :+fav:

--
Somewhere out there is a field full of happy, hopping bunnies, all rolling around on the green grass and cooing happily at the stars, whispering among themselves: "This is forever."

I want to be forever young....
:iconomigodimonfire:
~omigodimonfire Oct 9, 2008, 10:21:18 AM
Thank you. :) I can see what you mean about the metaphor degrading a little; I guess I was too hasty and called it finished before it really was. I think I'll go back and work on it. Thanks for alerting me of this.

--
What's hell without a little fire? [insert flamethrower] :onfire:
... I'm pretty sure fire extinguishers can't heal second degree burns...
'Almost' only counts with grenades and horseshoes.
:iconomigodimonfire:
~omigodimonfire Oct 13, 2008, 12:04:54 PM
I changed it around a little- I traded "turn" for "live." It would be awesome if you could take another look at it to see if it works better and tell me what you think, if you have the time. :]

--
What's hell without a little fire? [insert flamethrower] :onfire:
... I'm pretty sure fire extinguishers can't heal second degree burns...
'Almost' only counts with grenades and horseshoes.
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